theironkraken:

Boy. [She smirks wickedly.] You are a child, Theon. You’ve not grown up at all since you were nine, apart from the fact that you now know what to do with your cock.

Aye, I’d say the same for you as well, ‘cept now you’ve got a bigger cunt.

theironkraken:

we r goffik

we r so beutiful i wanna die

ironborn-asha:

Once upon a time, Theon Greyjoy was a dick and everyone hated him. He had a strange, fish-like face and occupied the precarious position of semi-ginger, a status almost sure to result in lack of a soul. This fact was acknowledged by his sister, Asha, who was a metaphor for awesome. She had an incredible amount of swag and told it like it was. Her crew thought she was just great and she was perfect and Balon agreed that she was the perfect child.
Asha decided one day to become even more awesome by getting rid of Theon. Theon had decided to take over Winterfell and scorch corpses and fuck wildlings for no apparent reason. There must have been a mass fetish for wildlings because both Jon Snow and Theon were into them at the same time. But then Theon became even more intolerable and everyone hated him and his stupid face.
Asha flew to Winterfell on a rainbow of greatness and swaggered onto the scene, glowing with badassery. Everyone started to moan “OH ASHA” and bowed to her in an orgasmic wave of worship. She chuckled and shrugged and walked over to Theon and strangled him with one hand. He died and then everyone hailed Asha but she was too cool for it and flew back to the Iron Islands and Theon was dead and Renly came back to life in return.

THE END

-tentacle hug-

tumblrofthrones:

l’oréal
blessed with salt
blessed with style
blessed with beauty.

Holy shit this is amazing.

Sea scum? I think NOT.

theshewolfofwinterfell:

OI! It’s not my fault that everyone around me talks about it! *huffs* Excuse me? Say the last part again? What does it mean? *narrows her eyes*

Surely one who does not want to be a lady, could have other uses than such boring lady things that you absolutely loathe.

iamstormborn:

Khal Drogo is a warrior, Greyjoy, and in turn smells of blood and sweat. He uses his arakh to cut down those who would challenge him or stand in his way. From what I’ve heard, you only use yours to stab at toothless whores. 

Wrong, I don’t have an arakh, unless that’s his cock which is amazing. Cutting down people with your cock.